Perspectives from Holland: January 2012

"Welcome to Holland"

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Claire's Room

I think Luke is finally beginning to realize that the world doesn't only revolve around him. Now, I know this may seem like a shock, but he is going to have to learn that sometimes Mommy and Daddy will have to take care of Claire before catering to his every need. Today, we finally hung up the artwork that I had diligently been working on for several days. Watch out HGTV....the room actually kind of matches! Who would have ever thought I had it in me?!? Luke wasn't quite sure what to make of everything, nor could he understand why the pictures took priority over another dish of cheese its. Luckily, he found a basket of baby toys, and the world seemed right again. We'll see what happens when Claire thinks it is her turn with the toys....

Here are some pics (sorry they aren't the greatest...silly iphone camera):

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Top 5 2011 Highlights

Top 5 highlights of 2011 included:
1. Watching Luke progress. It's so easy to take developmental milestones for granted, but watching the effort Luke puts in to each skill he learns makes us celebrate everything...yes, everything...he claps if he farts.

2. Finding out we were pregnant....Luke would have so much fun with a sibling. Reference item #1...new skills include buidling up the strength to beat up a sibling.

3. Finding out that sibling is a GIRL!!! Luckily I didn't hurt myself permanently when I almost fell off the table when the nurse told me.

4. No deployments!!!!!! Item #2 wouldn't have been otherwise possible.

5. Melissa's promotion at work. Note line item #3 - girls are expensive. Now we can afford one. Plus, now that her Master's is done she has time to shop.

We can't wait for everything that 2012 will bring, especially meeting baby Claire in March!

Christmas 2011

Our house looks like Toys R Us now that Christmas is over! Luke throroughly enjoyed being spoiled rotten by his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. He earned it though after all the hard work he put in this year at speech and occupational therapy.

Christmas started wtih a LONG drive to Topeka since Claire decided to kick mommy's bladder the ENTIRE way. After 543,343,204 stops, we finally made it.....only for Melissa to get the flu a few hours later. Despite being sick, we still had a great time with Grandpa and Grandma Malone. Theresa and Kirwin came over and we finally got to see their new book, and we even got autographed copies. Mike made it back from D.C. where he was visiting his friend, Lisa and he and Luke were best friends as usual. The highlight gift from Grandpa and Grandma was a new keyboard to jam on.

Christmas morning we headed down to Wichita to see Grandpa and Grandma Godinez. Aunt Tricia, Aunt Becky, and Cousin Maddie all came over and we had a great Christmas. The highlight gift was Luke's new Harley; however, it has to stay in Wichita until Grandma visits next time because the car was packed to the max. We had so much fun that Luke just couldn't stay awake for one more gift and finally crashed in the middle of the afternoon.

We were bound and determined not to get into trouble when Luke finally went back to school after break. Despite a relaxing week at home, we finally managed to get some sort of routine back. Luke's first day back at school ended with an excellent report that he worked extra hard, ate with his spoon, kept his glasses on, and an extra long therapy session....looks like he wants to stay on Santa's good list another year!