Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Day 1

We survived. That is all.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Now & Then

Six years ago we knew we were starting an adventure....


He lured me in with a week in Hawaii,

which was absolute paradise to be sure.
 And I thought this was what marriage was going to be.

I went from living with all of my friends at Sigma Kappa at KU.

To live in North Dakota - the land of snow and no one I knew.

And then he left me. By myself. In North Dakota. 6 weeks after getting married.

But I found a friend in Edgar.....who managed to run away and get arrested (I can not make this up).


But then I made some human friends so I wouldn't have to spend my time alone.
 
My college friends traveled all the way to South Dakota so we could "meet in the middle" when I needed a sense of the familiar.


But, 6 months later, he finally came home!
 He came home to a new four-legged baby....

And to some new human friends.

We decided one baby just wasn't enough, and along came Ralphie to complete our North Dakota family.

Then, the Air Force decided that our days of snow were coming to an end.

After we moved to Louisiana along came Luke....

Who has grown into quite the little flirt.

We decided he needed a sibling, and along came Claire.

She loves spending time with Daddy, but that is going to have to wait....

Yes, some days will be rough,

but now I have a little helper.

 We have to hurry and get ready

Because it's a family deployment and it's time to go!!! Aloha.

It's time for another Air Force adventure!! We got the call while Patrick was in Korea that he was jumping on the upcoming deployment, only he wasn't signed up for the usual Guam rotation  - he got the Hawaii job! So, after a weekend of a broken washing machine, a boat that won't start, two kids with hand, foot, and mouth disease, Claire having an allergic reaction to food, and a million errands to run, we have survived the standard pre-deployment curse. You military people know what I'm talking about - the inevitable junk that makes you think you're going to lose your mind when you're already not sure how you're going to survive with a six month old and a two year old...by yourself....for months!!! But, with Hawaii just around the corner for the rest of us, nothing seems quite that bad. Wish Patrick safe travels next time you talk to him and keep your fingers crossed that my sanity stays intact.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

To The End of The Earth And Back!

Hello dear readers!  Welcome to our newly secure blog.  I realized that we were getting traffic from some strange places that made me nervous, so I have made this an invitation only blog.  Let us know if someone needs access!

Boy, oh boy have I had an adventure!  So the Air Force sent me to Las Vegas a few weeks ago.  I've been there A LOT for my job, so it was more work than anything.  The good thing about this is that I know all of the good places to go to dinner, drinks, and I have my favorite places to gamble.  I got back on Sunday at 2AM.  It was pretty nice, though.  They chartered a United jet, which had a screen in front of each seat.  Free DirecTV, movies, etc.  It was great!  Well, I got a call on Monday that my job was sending me to Korea for an exercise. They didn't know when, but it was probably going to be in two weeks...

For the next 12 days, I scrambled for information that no one had.  I finally got some information the Thursday before I was supposed to leave.  This was awesome because I had to mission plan for my checkride that day, fly the mission on Friday, all the while getting ready to leave on Saturday.  This involved, among other activities: shots, briefings, computer based training, getting extra gear.  It was the most ridiculous 72 hours of my career.  So I get to Korea after a 14 hour flight from Dallas to Incheon International Airport.

My buddy and I were traveling together and noticed that the airport wasn't air-conditioned.  This became a theme of our trip.  Which was unfortunate since Korea is a jungle and it was August!  That being said, we got to base and checked into a tent city.  Oh, it was awesome! (note sarcasm).  My buddy was actually in a tent while I was living in a conex, which is pretty much a semi-trailer.  Luckily, these were both air-conditioned.  We also had a large shelter that had wi-fi so we could email and call home.

This was where I lived for three weeks.  Me...and 9 other guys!

This was my personal space in the conex.  I'm getting too old to sleep in a cot!

So Korea was like a Mexican border town.  Shady businesses everywhere stacked on top of each other!  They had a local liquor called "soju" that was unlike anything in the west.  Just a clear and almost tasteless liquid that went well with fruit juice...and messed you up!  

Below you can see why they call Korea the land of "Not quite right...but not all wrong!".  



 Anyway, there was a typhoon, a tropical storm, lots of hot work spaces.  I would go on my 12 hour work shift and be sweating for 8 of those hours.  It was nuts!  But I finally got back to the airport and onto a 747 to come home.  There was a single light bulb out in a single "No smoking" sign that delayed us enough that we landed an hour and a half late in San Francisco.  What that meant was about 80% of the plane missed their flights home.  What was worse, was that we were all military and had been away from home for three weeks and didn't want to hear that they couldn't get us home!  So I spent the night in San Francisco, which wasn't bad.  My hotel had a free shuttle to the Fisherman's Warf, which I took advantage of.  I had to buy a sweatshirt since it was down right cold that night!

Anyway, I got back to the hotel and slept.  I got up at 3AM and got to the airport at 4:30.  Well, they didn't know what to do with us all.  We were all checked in (and even had some of our luggage) but told us that we had to re-check in...which wasn't right.  We had to get into another line on the other end of the terminal that only had 2 people working.  Awesome.  Then I got behind an Indian family, who smelled, and took forever getting though the security line.  I FINALLY got to the gate when the door was about to close and settled into my seat.

I flew to Denver, then flew to Shreveport without any other problems.  I thought everything was great...until United lost my luggage in Denver.  Of anywhere for my luggage to be lost, I can't believe it was Denver!  At this point I wanted to make a joke that probably would have gotten me arrested in an airport, so I refrained. It was, to say the least, the worst airline experience I have ever had.
Cool picture of Alcatraz from Pier 39



So what I didn't tell you was that I got the news about two weeks into my three week Korean trip that I was going to Hawaii for my "Guam Deployment"!  Melissa, after being mad for a few hours, realized that she was going to be able to come out with the kids for a few months!  She couldn't believe it!  Now that we have Claire all figured out (turns out she is Lactose intolerant!) our two kids are waaaaaaaay better.  Melissa won't be so stressed out for the next three months while she waits to come out with me.  Yay!  Ok, after this meandering novel, I need to go help with the kids.  Talk to you later!