Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Oh. My. Word.

Did you wonder what the heck happened to us?!? We fell off the face of the earth, but after I explain, I think you might understand!

Well, after the tanned bliss faded away, it quickly became apparent that while we were away our immune systems had faded away as well. First, Luke and I each had a week-long bout with a mild stomach bug. Then, the inevitable happened and Claire ended up in the emergency room because she couldn't stop throwing up. Coincidentally, this happened the week before we were supposed to re-visit the GI doctor in Little Rock. Because Claire has not been gaining weight, throwing up after eating, and various other issues, we were considering admitting her to Little Rock Children's Hospital for GI testing and a possible feeding tube to allow her throat to heal from the vomiting. The doctors here thought her vomiting had increased due to the stomach bug that Luke and I had passed on; however, it quickly became apparent that it was more than that when she developed a severe cough.

That Monday morning, she sounding like a little Rice Krispie Treat with all of her wheezing, so we headed to minor emergency....only to be sent directly to the hospital to be admitted for low oxygen saturation levels. Sound familiar???? Oh yeah...it is why Luke has been hospitalized in the past! When I saw her levels, I thought, "This can NOT be happening!", but it was, so we jumped into "Godinez Emergency Mode". Long story short, Angela saved the day and let Luke move in temporarily, Laura visited between shifts, and Kristin supplied coffee. As usual, I made the standard emergency call to Grandma Godinez, and she jumped in the car to save the day!


In the midst of all of this, my mom was actually scheduled to fly into Dallas that week to visit during her Spring Break. If Claire was going to be admitted to Little Rock, she would be around for backup. Although we didn't get the girls' day in Dallas that I had originally planned, we skedaddled straight to the hospital. Luckily, Claire only stayed prisoner for 3 days, and we managed to keep Luke from developing any respiratory issues. Did I mention that through all of this I had bronchitis?!?!?!




The only thing better than one grandma is having two in town!!! Everyone shared the babies nicely, and I appreciated the backup because I climbed into bed and tried to move as little as possible for a few days to recover. But wait...there is one thing better than having two grandmas visit.....HAVING DADDY HOME!!!!


The Air Force took a little pity on us and allowed Patrick to come home just a wee bit early from Hawaii. I figured they knew that things were bad at home if he was asking to leave paradise to come back to Shreveport! I can't even begin to tell you how nice it is. While we were able to postpone Claire getting admitted to the hospital for GI testing, there is still the daily fear that she will not eat, relapse into stomach attacks, and fail to gain weight. But, this is all a breeze with another grown-up at home to analyze her! It is AMAZING how much spare time I have on my hands since I'm taking the kids to about 4 appointments versus the 8 appointments a week we were averaging for the past two months. Did I mention that I love having Patrick home?

I firmly believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and here is this for a perfect example:  
   - Patrick made it home
   - KU beat North Carolina to advance to the Sweet 16 in Dallas
   - Claire wasn't admitted to the hospital

If that wasn't God telling me to book a trip to Dallas to watch the Hawks, I don't know what it meant! After taking Claire's one year photos with our favorite photographer, we headed home, packed our bags, and set off for Dallas. If KU could have managed a win, the weekend would have been perfect! Regardless, we had fun at the game, visited the Fort Worth Zoo, went to Easter Sunday church at an awesome parish, had brunch, and headed home. 

Claire's special one-year blog will be coming soon, but first we have to wait on the rest of her pictures! But how did my baby turn 1 already?!?!?! For now, here are pictures of our mini-vacation, welcome-home-daddy trip to Dallas!