Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Just one of those weeks

We all have them. You know EXACTLY what I am talking about. Maybe you are better at blocking them from your memory than I am. This is one of those weeks where nothing can go right.

It all started when Ralphie apparently didn't think he was getting enough attention. Rather than sitting nicely in our laps, he thought it was a far better idea to relieve himself on our bedspread. Now, he may be stupid, but he isn't THAT stupid (Ralphie, not Patrick).  I'm not sure what brought this on, but it might have been due to the fact that we have been ignoring him a bit because he constantly wants to go outside to run up and down the fence to play with the dog who just moved in behind us. Regardless, we don't have our fluffy comforter, and blankets just don't cut it.

So, my car has been having some "technical difficulties" lately. We thought we could outsmart it and have it fixed over Labor Day weekend, but it had a different idea.  When Luke and I went out to the scalding hot car after Occupational Therapy Tuesday night, poor little Marylou Mariner just couldn't come fully back to life. She huffed and puffed, but sadly, she died. I would like to point out that this was the first time EVER that I did not have a panic attack during an event such as this. Instead, I calmly called my friend Rob, who luckily works near where we were, for a ride, I contacted the towing service, and I informed Patrick of what had happened without freaking out. Luckily, it was technical difficulties with the battery, so it ended up not being a traumatic financial event either :)

Just wait...stuff happens in three's. Two down, one to go. For now, we'll focus on the happy things like Luke's occupational therapy. His little attitude is starting to come out more and more, so he is very good about letting Ms. Anita know when he doesn't feel like working on certain exercises. Despite his vocal opinions, he is doing a stellar job.

2 comments:

  1. Ahhh you poor thing:( Sounds like you have a great attitude about it all though, as usual!! My fingers are crossed for the 3rd thing to NOT happen & my oh my Luke is growing like a weed;-)

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  2. He is such a cutie!!! Looks like we will be back to Shreveport next summer. I can't wait to finally meet him (and for you to meet Molly and see how much Madison has grown!) Miss you guys..

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