Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Surprise Day Off


 

Surprise! Luke and I got the day off today. It was a typical morning around the house. Ralphie and Sophie jumped out of bed at 5:30 a.m., ready to run up and down the fence with the other neighborhood dogs out doing their business.  Luke woke up shortly after, ready for his morning bottle. While we ate breakfast, we watched House Hunters International to shop for our vacation home. I think we're coming to the conclusion that we're going to build a bad-ass retirement home on some random lake in the U.S. - airplane tickets abroad are just too expensive.  After coming to that conclusion, it was time to get dressed, pack lunch, and play for a bit before the morning commute.  Now, let me tell you - each day the drive to work becomes more and more painful because the weather down here finally got the memo that it is FALL, not SUMMER. Thank goodness it is already Thursday, so we savored the bit of hope that we could enjoy the weather soon.....Luckily, it we got the chance sooner than we thought....

Just as I was pulling into the daycare parking lot, Luke's teacher, Ms. Tiffanie, called to say that school was cancelled! Turns out there was a maintenance issue (sewer problems in the neighborhood), so businesses had to close.  After a moment of panic on what to do with Luke, I decided to take the day off. This couldn't have come at a better time:

So, chances are most of you haven't heard from us for a few weeks. I call my mom and Patrick's mom to assure them that we are still alive and we haven't been eaten by alligators. Patrick has been travelling to Minot, Omaha, and Vegas while I've been behind preparing my company for an audit on our Quality Managment System.  Not to mention, Luke's tummy was upset for a bit last week and I had two projects due for school. So no, we are not dead...just busy :)

After a fabulous day of shopping, cleaning, and NAPPING, Luke and I are ready to face the world again. Even if there isn't a maintenance issue at daycare next month, I think I might just take a mental maintenance day because nothing in the world feels better.  Well, maybe having a husband around to enjoy the day with, but we have 72 days left before that can happen....

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