Perspectives from Holland: Vacation - Part I of III: Trip to Kansas

"Welcome to Holland"

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Vacation - Part I of III: Trip to Kansas

Did you really think I'd put EVERYTHING from the last two weeks into one blog? April tends to be a monumental month in our lives every year, and this year is no different. Two years ago it was getting news of the move from ND to LA, last year it was Luke's arrival, and this year it is epic chaos!

Two weeks ago, both Luke and I managed to get sick right before our big trip to Kansas, but luckily, mommy got some medicine at the doctor, and the family pharmacist, a.k.a. Grandpa Cesar, got Luke nice and better.

Mommy and Daddy had to go to Kansas City to celebrate Kim and Dan's wedding, so Luke asked to stay with Grandpa and Grandma Malone for the weekend. They spoiled him rotten so mommy and daddy could visit with all of their old college and Minot friends.

Luke loved getting spoiled, but he had to leave Topeka because it was time for a trip to Grandpa Cesar and Grandma Karen's house so mommy and daddy could go to Jamaica on vacation!