The Brochure

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. Ironically, today I was cleaning out Luke's closet, and I came across his hospital discharge packet from when he was born. In it were records from his 21 days in NICU, several copies of eye tests and hearing tests he had failed with follow-up appointment schedules, and a brochure on how to care for a baby with special needs.

The brochure focuses on the feelings of loss or anxiety over having a child with special needs rather than the typical child you envisioned. It claims you may need to "change your expectations". It mentions that you may have "a few more appointments" than a typical child may have.

There is no pamphlet that is going to prepare you for the emotional roller coaster of those first few months. And a few more appointments? Aubrey is now 18 months old, and she has had a total of 5 or 6 appointments. By the time Luke was that age, he had over 30 days hospitalized, endured three surgeries, and had over 150 appointments.

What those brochure failed to mention was the wholesome kindness that you would have the privilege of witnessing every single day. When we were in Chicago last weekend, Luke proudly waved hello to everyone he saw. It did not matter if it was a business person striding out of some fancy building, a mom pushing a stroller, or a homeless man sitting against a building. This afternoon he spent an hour running through the house in his Halloween Ghostbusters costume getting ghosts so Claire and I wouldn't be scared. Then, when I asked him to help with Claire so I could clean up the kitchen, he didn't hesitate to help her with her walker.

The one thing that the brochure was right about was to "change your expectations".  However, I disagree that this is only true for parents of a child with special needs. Parenthood is a wild ride, regardless of the situation, personality, or abilities/disabilities of the child. It does not matter if you have the most outgoing or socially awkward child, the athlete or the video game expert, the bookworm or the child who can never find his or her homework folder.

So, for Down Syndrome Awareness Month, to hell with the brochure.  Forget "changing expectations" and strive to "surpass expectations" in any situation or challenging moment.  Learn to view the world more through Luke's eyes - with a little more kindness, and a whole lot of enthusiasm.