Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Research


Today was a pretty typical day around the house. Luckily, Patrick is still on leave for the rest of the week, so we are maximizing the opportunity to accomplish as much as we can and still get in some much needed rest and relaxation. We spent the day cleaning, doing yard work, running errands, and working out in between taking care of Luke. When the chores were done and Luke was peacefully sleeping in his swing, I finally had time to sit down and start doing a little more research about Down Syndrome.

After Luke's diagnosis shortly after birth, our immediate reaction was to start requesting material and searching for books; however, the doctors, thankfully, encouraged us to simmer down and just enjoy our new baby. Although both of us had a basic understanding of DS, it is amazing how much information is out there. Several people have commented that they've been doing a bit of research as well in order to better understand what Luke may be facing throughout his life, and we think that is AWESOME! The fact that you are all taking the time to learn about Luke's needs shows what a strong support system he truly has. So, we've decided that occasionally as we learn of great sites/resources, we'll pass them along to all of you in case you want to check them out.

The first site we've chosen is the National Down Syndrome Society (www.ndss.org). It provides a basic overview of DS, educational opportunities, and links to other support organizations around the country. Most importantly, there is a link for "My Great Story" which includes hundreds of stories about the daily joys and struggles of living with DS. So far, this site has answered a lot of the basic questions that have been swimming through our minds the last month, but feel free to let us know any questions that you have because, chances are, we've been asking the same ones!

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the link! Ronnie saw that ad with Sujeet in one of his magazines (did he tell you about it? He said he was going to) but I'm glad to read more of his story/see the video!

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  2. Oh yeah and I'm officially baby jealous! We put away Anna's swing and I about cried and now I see little baby Luke sound asleep in his! ENJOY THESE DAYS they go by too fast! :)

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