Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

There's No Place Like Home - Part I

Luke was meant to be our child. When we told people that we were taking him on a 9 hour car ride to return to Kansas for his baptism everyone had a "travelling baby horror story". Nope...not us!! What other baby in the world only needs two major stops on a 9 hour car ride? He was content to sleep most of the drive. Then, when he was awake, mommy and one of the dogs sat in the back to keep him entertained.

When we finally got to Wichita, Aunt Theresa and her boyfriend, Kerwin, came over to meet Luke. Despite not wanting to be my new nanny, Theresa and Luke had a great time playing together. The visit was a bit short, though, because we were a little late getting in (and super tired). No worries though - everyone will be together again for the baptism this weekend.

Sorry there aren't any pictures just yet.....plenty to come on Sunday...a ridiculous amount, in fact. Luke still has all of his Wichita friends, great aunts and uncles, Aunt Becky and Aunt Tricia and cousin Maddie to meet today.

1 comment:

  1. UnknownJune 21, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    Melissa and Patrick,
    I guess I have been living under a rock, but I just heard about baby Luke being born. The poem, Welcome to Holland, really says it all! You have just taken a different trip then the one you planned! Luke is a very blessed young man to have you both for parents... you will do whatever is humanly possible to make his life the best! The people you meet will be a blessing, but the positive and beautiful attitudes you both have will enrich other people's lives! I will continue to read your blog, it is very entertaining!
    Many thoughts and prayers,
    Sue Snodgrass

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