Our Babies
Luke and Claire
"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.Sunday, September 28, 2014
Summer fades to fall
2010: Luke had just started at the Goldman School, and we were nicely settling into a routine....until Patrick started Weapons School, I attempted to finish grad school and simultaneously conquered a ginormous audit at work. That is all I recall of Fall 2010. We both graduated, the audit was a success, and Luke isn't too scarred from it.
2011: Early pregnancy = high stress. After two miscarriages and Luke's surprise diagnosis, doctors went on high alert when it was time for pregnancy #4. After the endless high risk appointments, Claire received the clean bill of health, and doctors calmed down by Christmas. That sure didn't last long.....
2012: It hurts my head to even look back on fall of 2012. Patrick was gone, Claire screamed incessantly and couldn't stop throwing up, I lost a few marbles, and Luke was the only one who escaped unscathed. Thankfully, Hawaii saved us from our misery.
2013: The million dollar question: Are they moving or not? I'm sure a lot of you made bets if the Air Force was ever going to take pity on our constant trips out of state for Claire's doctors. The never-ending game of "You're moving..not today....just kidding...move tomorrow....just kidding the government shut down...no one goes anywhere...you have three weeks to move to San Antonio" was a wee bit exhausting, but we survived. And here we are today.....
2014: Blogging hasn't been high on the to-do list because there is just too much fun stuff going on!! After four years of stress, emotional meltdowns, uncertainty, and just plain chaos, it is unbelievably amazing to just calmly enjoy life.
Our Texas summer evenings include walks through the neighborhood. It is a new development, so it's fun to see the changes each day. In honor of the construction workers, Luke likes to wear his sombrero.
The zoo is our #2 favorite destination, only behind Sea World. The carousel is finally a favorite attraction.
It is nice to travel to see friends instead of doctors. We made it back to KC for Erin and Adam's wedding. I think this selfie is almost as good as Ellen's from the Oscars.
And we celebrated Cesar's retirement in true Godinez fashion. A party busy, sombreros, mustaches, and Mexican food. Would you expect anything less from this family???
Claire got wheels!!!! Our therapists are great about obtaining adaptive equipment for Claire. This summer she received a wheelchair and adaptive seat for playing with her friends. There are a few new dents in the cabinets and walls, but Luke will eventually learn to navigate better.
For a special treat, the beach is only two hours away!!! Both kids love the sand and wind, so we definitely need to make the trip more often.
Favorite destination #1: Sea World!!!! It is an unhealthy obsession. We can't help it. We know we won't live here forever, so we have to take advantage of having Shamu 30 minutes from the house. Seriously, we are obsessed.
When we're not at favorite destinations #1 or #2, we love to just hang out at the house. Claire has been making amazing progress this summer with therapy, so it is fun to see her interact with her toys, Luke, and Kathryn (nanny's daughter). We'll blog more details on her progress later....
And finally....have we mentioned a time or two the amazing resources that San Antonio has to offer? We participated in the San Antonio Buddy Walk to raise money and awareness for Down Syndrome. The event raised $194,000 and had over 6000 participants. It is sensational to live in a place with such an acceptance for special needs. My favorite sign from the day said, "Real friends don't count chromosomes." So true.
THAT my friends is why we have been a little absent from the blog. Don't worry - we will try to do better....until we get distracted by the next fun thing....Just know this - we are savoring the calmness of 2014.
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