Perspectives from Holland: Miracles Happen

"Welcome to Holland"

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Miracles Happen

Dear kids,

Today, a miracle happened. The last time the world saw an event like this, your mom was younger than you. People jammed to "Take On Me" by A-ha after a day in the office using Microsoft 1.0. Evenings included watching The Cosby Show and going to see Back to the Future on the weekends. Twenty-nine years later, here we are cheering for the Royals in the post-season.

You have to understand this significance - while growing up, I didn't even think the Royals were eligible to play in the World Series. Now, we are witnessing one of the best streaks in post-season MLB. This is all happening just a few months after the excitement of seeing the Spurs win. If only KU could get on this winning bandwagon....

When we're not busy cheering for the miracle of all miracles, Patrick has been holding down the fort while I was off at a conference in Chicago. It was an unbelievable trip, AND the house was standing when I came home. Winning.