Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

The Surprise - Part II

Link from part I:  http://patrickmelissaandfamily.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-surprise-part-i.html
 

Monday, Just 31st 3:09 PM - we finally had an official homecoming date and time.

At any given time during deployment, I could rattle off the theoretical number of days, hours, and in some cases minutes or seconds until homecoming. It was theoretical because the Air Force simply does not like to pre-plan dates for neurotic wives such as myself. Then, to top off the anticipation, the entire group of guys got stranded in Kuwait for a few days during the journey home because the entire crew had food poisoning. Patience is not my greatest strength, nor is it Luke's. Every five seconds he asked, "Mom, let's go to airport!! Get daddy!!".

Just when I thought we might lose our minds from anticipation, it was time.

My dad always says that anticipation is the most fun part of a trip or an event, and in this case, that was partly true. My friend, Tammy, made the kids the most perfect shirts. Luke's said, "He's not just my daddy, he's my hero." The girls' shirts said, "He is my hero, and I am his princess".  Autumn, our nanny helped the kids make posters. Neighbors coordinated dinner so we wouldn't have to think about food during his first days home. Friends, our babysitters, neighbors, and members from the squadron gathered from around town for the Godinez airport party.

In true Godinez fashion, things took a turn for the crazy when we attracted the attention of a news crew. When we explained Claire's surprise, I was suddenly getting a mic strapped to my shirt by a news crew so they could catch the homecoming moment on camera.

"He's here! We see him!!," everyone started shouting. There he finally was at the top of the escalator, coming down to see us.

"Go Claire, GO!!!!", our babysitters and I coaxed.

And off she went. Luke beat her, of course, screaming, "DADDDDDYYYYYY!!!!" and leaping into Patrick's arms. But after we stopped Patrick in his tracks, she inched forward in her walker to see him.

No one was carrying her. No one was helping her balance. And it was captured by the news crew.

I love homecoming pictures and videos, even when I don't know the family. In fact, I have probably spent an embarrassing amount of time watching them and crying. There is no more beautiful moment than a family throwing their arms around a loved ones after months separated by deployment.

Claire's moment is no different. Her video has been viewed over 250,000 times, and it was on the news in 13 states (that we know of).

The anticipation was fun, but the moment was absolutely perfect.

Claire's News Story























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