Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The First Night

It's pretty surreal to finally have Luke in the house with us.....BUT IT IS AWESOME!!!! We had an event-packed first night at home. First, Grandma Godinez drove as fast as she could from Kansas so she could be here to help out for a few days. In fact, she even managed to beat us to the house so she was waiting for us when we arrived! She couldn't wait to get her hands on the cordless baby since he was still on oxygen during her last visit. Then, after we had a chance to get settled, our neighbors, Emily and Jeffrey, knew it had been a long day waiting around at the hospital for Luke to be discharged, so they brought over a delicious dinner to celebrate. A bit later, the newest addition to the "cool block", Robert and Lindsay, came over to join in the festivities. The girls hung out inside while the boys did some "macho man" celebrating over cigars and adult beverages.

For his first night away from his brigade of nurses, Luke was a superstar! Although I was a bit nervous not to have the security of the oxygen monitors to let me know he really was okay, we all did just fine. Patrick and I traded off hanging out in Luke's room to do the feedings/diaper changings so the other one could get in a solid few hours of sleep. We started off the night with Luke in the pack 'n' play in our room, but then decided neither of us was ever going to get any rest! Plus, Luke REALLY wanted to spend some time in his room since he had been hearing so much about it for the past few weeks.

I don't think we ever fully appreciated a day at home with no plans in sight before Luke came along. We're usually running around doing 10,000 things, but we're taking a break from that for a bit. In fact, the cherry on top of our day is that I even managed to finish my Master's courses for the semester - thank goodness! We both have a break from our jobs, I have a break from grad school, and now it's time to do nothing but spend a fabulous day at home together as a family.

2 comments:

  1. I am so happy!!!!! Enjoy every precious minute with Luke :) So glad you're finally home!

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