Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Green Goo


Just yesterday one of my good friends jokingly posted on Facebook that she wanted to quit her job as a stay-at-home mom and go to work because it was easier. It was ironic that she posted when she did because I, too, was having one of those days.

Needless to say, the transition from working full-time (I'm going back in July after maternity leave) to cuddling at home with a newborn has been quite the shock. When Luke was having one of his "gassy spells" yesterday and crying non-stop, the thought of being at work seemed pretty nice! Not to mention, Luke's crying is not the prettiest right now due to some clogged tear ducts. The doctor says it is pretty common in babies, and, call me crazy, but I'm not a big fan of the green eye goo.

Then, when he finally calmed down and we washed off his poor little eyes, he looked so peaceful randomly smiling in his sleep (maybe it was just gas). Although I miss going to work everyday, I wouldn't trade this time at home for the world. Today, we even ventured out on our first trip without Patrick or his mom around to help and neither of us melted down!! It might take me a bit, but I'll eventually get the full hang of this mommy gig. For now, please excuse me while I go wipe off some more green eye goo.

3 comments:

  1. KarenMay 14, 2010 at 7:53 PM

    Well...that green goo could be coming from other orifices of Luke's little body! Count your blessings! Looks like Ralphie is enjoying the relaxed "rules of the house" (in Luke's room and on Luke's blanket). I guess he needed a "little tummy time" too!

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  2. MariaMay 16, 2010 at 9:55 AM

    Someday, Luke is going to hug you, kiss you and say "I love you" and you are going to think back on a day like this and know that it was 150% worth it!

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  3. maryn1978May 17, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    The green eye goo is the WORST! Madison had a lovely eye infection (the goo they put on their eyes didn't work for her). Soon, it will be all gone :) Thinking of you...

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