Questions

Sometimes April and May feel like the longest months of our lives, while at other times we wonder where the time went. Two months ago we wondered what Luke would look like, how he would behave, and if we could handle the growing pains of being new parents. Family and friends constantly called, e-mailed, and stopped by to share in our nervous anticipation. Then, on the morning of his birth, a whole new dimension was added to our lives, a part we never saw coming.

When the doctors first gave us the news of Luke's diagnosis the joy of being first-time parents was temporarily shattered. The innocent anticipation of being first-time parents was instantly replaced with looming questions. How long would he have to stay in intensive care? Would he live a normal life? How were we going to tell our family and friends? More importantly, what would you all say?

Now, after countless phone calls and e-mails, meals, visitors from family and friends, we couldn't possibly be more grateful. Instead of looking at Luke's diagnosis as a misfortune, each and every one of you rejoiced in his arrival, prayed for a speedy recovery, celebrated his homecoming, and now each day you continue to follow his story here on the blog. In less than 5 weeks, over 3000 times you've all logged in to see Luke's progress and to offer your support and words of encouragement. For this, you will never know how much it means to us.
Last night when I was holding Luke in my arms during his 4 a.m. feeding, I realized several things. Luke looks just like his dad, widow's peak and all. He is a boy who likes his routine - feedings, play time, two poops in a row, and being snuggled back to sleep. Patrick and I can decipher his cries, handle getting pooped on, and make smooth trade-offs on responsibilities around the house. In five weeks, we have the answers to our simple questions from before his birth.

As is the case for any baby, the future remains uncertain. We may not know exactly when Luke will hit different developmental milestones, how he'll do in school, or what type of adulthood he may experience, but then again, no new parent knows the exact answers to those questions. Just as you all celebrated Luke's arrival with unconditional acceptance, your support allowed Patrick and I the chance to piece together our emotions and realize that not having the answers to these bigger questions is perfectly okay.