Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Grandma Malone

It's the little things in life. What could possibly be better than snuggling with Grandma Malone all day? Luke was so happy to see mommy and grandma at 8 a.m. this morning that he decided to stay awake for 2 whole hours after his bottle! For those of you who haven't had the chance to meet Luke in person - this is a big deal since the little dude sleeps ALL THE TIME! He looked around, stretched, grabbed our fingers, and snuggled up to us all morning.

Then, Luke needed a little nap before his next bottle, so grandma and I headed down to the Boardwalk to grab some lunch. The weather was absolutely perfect so we ate outside, did a little shopping, and enjoyed the break from the hospital. After 9 months of not really buying much, it was FABULOUS to buy some new clothes!

Luke decided he wanted to be a bit stubborn on his afternoon bottle and not eat much. He obviously wants to come home since he tried to pull the little tubes out of his nose in an attempt to escape the hospital; however, the nurse put the tubes back and told him he had to stay with her a bit longer. Unfortunately, he still has a long way to go before he is breathing completely on his own and drinking a bottle at EVERY feeding. We'll get there though....

2 comments:

  1. KarenApril 27, 2010 at 10:10 PM

    Ooooh. Such a sweet baby boy! I miss him so much! Cannot wait to get back to LA and hold Baby Luke again!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Gibbons FamilyApril 28, 2010 at 7:59 AM

    Melissa (and Patrick), I can not say that I completely know what you are going through, but I do know a little something about having a baby (or three) in the NICU. It's tough to leave them there, but...

    When I read that he drank a bottle and stayed awake afterwards, What a major accomplishment!!! Made me smile :) A huge milestone Luke is working on to get out of the NICU! Isn't it such a wonderful feeling as a mom to see that?!?!

    Take Care,
    Shayna

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)