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Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Naked on Television

As my mom has always said, I somehow manage to be in the right place at the right time. Today, it landed both Patrick and I naked on television! Being the awesome husband he is, Patrick booked a massage for us since we've had a bit of a stressful few days. Yesterday, the salon called to ask if we'd like to be part of a news story on "staycations". Of course, being the shy people we are, we immediately said yes. So, today while we were getting our massage, the news crew came to the room and asked us about our reason for a little pampering. The news crew and the massage therapists agreed that we had earned our little splurge :)

Luke is doing about the same as yesterday. While I was holding him this afternoon, he decided that it took a bit too much effort to breathe. But, the awesome doctor and nurse stayed calm, gave him some meds, turned up his oxygen, and it was no big deal. Turns out it was perfectly normal for a baby being weaned off oxygen! Each and every single day we thank God for the amazing NICU staff at the hospital. It's great to go home knowing that Luke is in perfectly good hands. We're headed back tonight to spend some more time with the little dude.

5 comments:

  1. Ronnie and SuziApril 20, 2010 at 10:03 PM

    Oh goodness...on both counts really! Just sitting down now to watch the news and see my famous friends, maybe I should wear a blindfold though, huh?! Hoping tomorrow is a better day for the little man. How scary for you! But you are right, you are in the best place for the place you are in! ;) Continuing to pray for all of you!

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  2. The ScottsApril 21, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    Sure, you just had to get on tv before me! Glad you got to spend some time holding Luke. Praying for y'all and the hospital staff.

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  3. UnknownApril 21, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    if you needed some extra money i would've loaned it to you, you didn't have to turn to the porn industry...wink wink! hope the massage was at lovely as it sounds. Also, glad to hear they are beginning to try and wean off the oxygen and into mommy's arms

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  4. AnonymousApril 21, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    I got to spend some time with Holly yesterday and she said you're at the best NICU in Shreveport. Good pick, mama! We're glad they're able to give you some much-needed peace of mind.

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  5. LisaApril 21, 2010 at 9:52 PM

    Yes! This cracks me up! You've got to find a link to the video on the net and post it on here! Hilarious!

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