Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"


By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

One Week

It's not often that I pay attention during the sermon at mass, let alone remember what the priest actually said. However, during mass the week before Luke was born, Fr. Joe talked about the meaning of friendship. He said, "A friend is someone you cry with while an acquaintance is someone you simply spend time with". This week, Patrick and I realized just how many friends we have in our lives. Not only have you shared in the joy of Luke's birth, but you have given us unconditional support during this stressful time. The phone calls, visits, food, facebook notes, blog comments, and texts are what got us through this week.

Luke is making progress! He was on vapotherm which pushed humidified, heated air into his lungs, and now he's been weaned off that to just a low level of regular oxygen. In addition, the speech and physical therapists are impressed at how strong his suck is for his bottle. He's getting lazy from the feeding tube though and likes to fall asleep before he can finish his bottle. Hopefully, he'll gain some endurance this week and will be headed home soon.

5 comments:

  1. Glad to hear about the progress. Things are looking up!

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  2. I'm surprised Fr. Joe didn't use these friendship quotes. They are what I think of when I think of you:
    "A good friend will bail you out of jail, a real friend will be sitting next to you saying, Damn that was fun!"
    "Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel it's true warmth!"

    Love to all the Godinez's thanks for keeping us posted from far away! Air hugs to all three of you!-Love Auntie Blair

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  3. Glad to hear Luke has graduated to nasal cannula! Yay, for progress! We continue to pray for progress and his homecoming.

    God bless,
    Stephanie and Jonathan

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  4. Horray Luke!!! We are praying that he continues to improve every day...and he comes by his laziness honestly. Doesn't Nads call himself the lazy Mexican?! Miss you guys!

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  5. And Blair, that is why we have been friends for so long :)

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