Our Babies

Our Babies
Luke and Claire

"Welcome to Holland"

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Well, this is Patrick posting. Do you know how annoying it is to try and post while being married to an English teacher? It's terrible. Anyway, today was a good day. An old family friend lives here in town and we got together with her since my mom is in town. We took her to see Luke and visited for quite a while about old times. Luke is doing well! His oxygen was weened off a bit and he had his first bottle! Turns out he didn't realize that milk was going to come out when he sucked and was kind of surprised to say the least. We still aren't sure when he will be able to come home, but it's getting closer everyday. One thing that kid likes is to be held by his daddy! We were also able to bring clothes and toys for him, so of course we brought a baby Jayhawk!They like to snuggle together....


In the meantime, we are just biding our time waiting for him to come home. We feel kind of bad not spending all hours at the NICU, but he isn't a critical baby (lot's of very very small babies!) and has plenty of weight behind him, he's fine. Thanks for everyone who has been thinking of us and baby Luke!
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8 comments:

  1. The Carter'sApril 21, 2010 at 10:23 PM

    Nice post Patrick although Melissa might dock you for the title:) Only kidding!
    Ahhh..he sure looks cute snuggling with the Jayhawk and YAY for drinking his first bottle! Don't feel bad not spending every waking moment in the NICU, those awesome nurses love spending time with him too:) Praying he gets to come home SOON!!! xoxo

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  2. Ronnie and SuziApril 21, 2010 at 10:23 PM

    Yay for pictures! I've missed the little guy! Can't wait to HOLD him tomorrow! He looks bigger already. Tell him to slow down in that growing department till I get there! :)

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  3. LisaApril 22, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    Seriously, can he get any cuter?!?! Love your post labels, too. Hilarious!
    I will choose to ignore the bird in the photo. ;)

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  4. AnonymousApril 22, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    So glad to hear that Luke has had his first bottle! Making progress! Patrick, Jonathan would totally sympathize with you about the English stuff, I am forever getting on to him about his spelling or grammar in FB posts!=)

    God bless!
    Stephanie Ard

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  5. KathyApril 23, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    He is just too cute! I am so glad he is doing so well! YAY on taking the first bottle. He will be home before you know it!! I am sure those nurses are loving all their time they get to spend with him!!

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  6. Kristin CarlsonApril 23, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Kristin CarlsonApril 23, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    hmmm, looks like he is refusing to look at the jayhawk, maybe that is is sign he is going Blue??? So glad things are progressing towards him going home. He looks great, can't wait to meet him.

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  8. UnknownApril 23, 2010 at 6:36 PM

    Nice work, Patrick. Short, sweet and to the point! You get extra credit for the photos :) Keep them coming! Hope to see ya'll soon!

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